Because He is who He is!

     I have been waiting for an opportunity to share this story.  We've had a very busy summer that has been full of adventures and work that has kept me from home, but I am excited to go back in time a few months and share what a wonderful God we serve.  Actually, I'll be going back a few years...five to be exact.  I just have to share a bit of history to explain the more current events.  I've asked my husband if he is ok with me being completely transparent about the last few years of our life in spite of the fact that it requires a bit of humility.  He said that he is fine with that.  After all, if we act as if we've always got it all together, when would anyone see our need for God? 
     Most people know about our trial with the birth of our little Eli.  He was born with PPHN and we almost lost him several times.  There is a section of this blog entitled, "The Elijah Letters" that covers our journey during that time.  We learned so much about God and His character during that time.  We were forever changed for the better because of that trial. 
    David and I had decided to have a large family fast.  He is ten years older than I am and he didn't want to have a bunch of kids in college when he's planning for retirement.  Needless to say, adding five children to a one income family in eight years is very expensive.  We often had up to three children in diapers and Pull-ups.  Add to that some foolish purchases, we were getting by just fine and could afford our debt, but we didn't have much left over every payday. 
     Eli's medical bills only added to our financial stress.  Before insurance, his medical bills reached somewhere between $800,000 and $1 million.  He spent 24 days in NICU.  He was visited by multiple specialists and had multiple tests run including a lung x-ray and an echo cardiogram at least once a day. Of course, the pathology lab had to interpret all of the test results, not to mention the multiple machines that were attached to him that each cost us a large chunk of money.  We didn't care, though.  All we wanted was our baby in our arms.  We began paying our portion of those medical bills of which insurance had covered a HUGE chunk.  Still, I'd be lying if I said it didn't cause financial stress. 
     Within a few months, we learned that my husband had two weeks left at his job.  As his wife, I can brag on him and say that he is one of the best Managers/District Managers in the business.  I know I'm biased, but a fact is a fact.  He had been managing 18 stores from Orange, TX to Daphne, AL when the entire company decided to shut down all stores.  It no longer mattered that his numbers were great, his stores immaculate and his work ethic through the roof.  When the entire company closes its doors, there is no job...even for the best workers out there.
     Let me wrap up this history by saying a few statements:  God carried us through that trial as well.  He taught us so much about what is important, (faith, family, making memories), and what really, really wasn't (new "things", expensive adventures, name brands).  Also, the hospital bills and the job loss RUINED our credit and depleted our savings.
     We spent the next five years chipping away at the debt.  The debt that was very manageable when David was employed and we were a family of six became a feat the likes of scaling Mt Everest when you added to it the medical bills that came with our precious number five and an unemployment paycheck that didn't even cover our rent.
     Another important lesson was that creditors do not care to hear your sob-story or your financial plan to pay off the debt.  They want their money, and they want it NOW!!!!  They won't hesitate to take honest, hard-working people who are in a tough situation to court.  Families that are fighting desperately the desire to file for bankruptcy get no sympathy.  Medical bills from a child we almost lost and five children to feed?  That doesn't matter either.  The fact remained...we owed them money.  We couldn't argue with the facts.  With everything in us, we fought bankruptcy and we won that battle.  We never had to file, although we did endure multiple months of cringing every time the phone rang, and being insulted and bullied by people insisting we pay them even if we assured them that they were asking the impossible.
     Two years ago we moved to Mississippi.  New job, new home, new landlord, new way of schooling our children, a fresh new start.  We had eaten lots of beans and rice and learned which generics were worth our money and which were not.  We made our last payment on our van and the last payment on many accounts...medical and credit card.  After two years renting in Mississippi and realizing we wanted to stay here, we started looking for a home to purchase.
     Now, I am usually not hard to please, but I knew what I wanted in a house.  I wanted a great neighborhood with tons of friends and a wonderful floor plan for a large home school family.  I wanted at least four bedrooms, a nice yard, and a bonus room that we could turn into a home theatre at some point.  I also hoped for room to expand.  Granite counter tops and garden tubs would be nice, but I can purchase those over time.  I needed a home with good "bones".  I also needed a home that was well under our budget so we could rebuild our savings and pay for all of the piano, theatre and dance lessons our kids enjoy.  I also wanted the room in our budget to save for a new vehicle since I now prefer to pay cash and remain debt-free (except for a home mortgage and a student loan).
     Our friend Darren pulled David to the side one day and told him that he knew of two homes for sale in our desired neighborhood.  One needed the foundation fixed and was for sale at a very low price, and the other was an estate sale.  We checked out both homes.  To say that the foundation needed repair in the first home was an understatement.  I get motion sickness very easily.  I stood in the kitchen, looking into the back yard and noticed the familiar wooziness surfacing.  We knew we couldn't live there.  The house had too much damage.  We walked into the second home, expecting to be disappointed, but all we saw was potential.  Four bedrooms, space for a classroom, a lovely living room, a yard that would be beautiful with a little work, and a closed-in garage that could easily be converted to a home theater, plus a detached two-car garage! Sure, it needed updating, but it had what I was looking for...potential!
     We made an offer on the house and after some counter offers on both sides, we came to an agreement that was well under the amount we had been approved to purchase.   We visited a mortgage office and quickly got all of the necessary documents to them.  The lady helping us said that our debt to income ratio was fantastic and the house we wanted was well within our budget.  The only problem was that there was still one blemish on our credit report that we had unfortunately over-looked.  It was a judgement that had been made against us and was going to rotate off of our report in a little over a year.  We looked up the judgement on line and it said we had not been notified.  NO KIDDING!  Still, we took full responsibility for letting it slip by us.  I suppose we were just a little overwhelmed and didn't do enough research before we ventured out on our trek to become home owners.  In spite of this, the loan officer thought the underwriters would be okay with following through with the loan since the debt was so old and everything else was squeaky clean.  She was wrong.  We were turned down for the loan because of the one blemish.  We visited other banks, hoping and praying that they'd take a chance on us.  We were told that NO ONE would give us a loan with this blemish on our report and that we should give up until we could get that off of our report.  We were told to give up.  Everyone said "PLEASE come back to us when this one last thing is paid off because everything else looks amazing!".  Oh, how frustrating it was!  It seemed to be the home that God had hand-picked for us!  Why wasn't it working out?  I remember two different times that I literally fell on my knees, bringing this to God.  Our church had released a CD and one of the songs was called "Kneel". Some of the lyrics are as follows:  "God we kneel declaring You are faithful.  God we kneel, believing You are able to move the mountains that we face, if we would pray with boldness and with faith...when we kneel."  Another part says, "God we kneel, with faith that does not waiver, God we kneel expecting You will answer.  It's Your delight to surpass all that we would dare to ask of You, when we kneel."  When this song was being introduced to our congregation, we were encouraged to fall on our knees before God and present Him with our deepest prayer.  I knelt before God and cried out, "I believe You can move mountains, so I know that a silly credit report is NOTHING to a mountain-moving God!  Please, Lord...let them (whoever "THEY" are) find favor in us!!!
     This may seem a bit over the top for a simple house purchase and I have to be careful how I explain our desperation.  I don't want to seem ungrateful for the rent home God had provided for those 2 years, and I don't want to insult our landlord, but we were in a bad situation.  We were living in a rent home that was falling apart around us.  Our landlord did not have the same ideas as we did when it came to how a home should be kept up.  The foundation cracked, and I suppose in some ways he was caught between a rock and a hard place since he didn't have the money to level the home, but it was causing major problems for us that I won't sit here and list...but it was very hard to live in those conditions.  I rarely allowed company in our home and was becoming very sad every time I walked in the door.  It is rare to find an affordable rent home in a decent neighborhood that will fit a family our size.  The thought of staying in that home seemed almost unbearable, but the thought of finding another rent home seemed impossible!  We were desperate!
     The time allotted for us to fulfill our contract was coming to an end.  One Tuesday morning I sat on the couch with my husband drinking coffee and coming up with a plan.  He and I decided to choose contentment.  It went against our desire to grumble and complain, but we had to trust that God had a plan...a perfect plan!  We came up with a plan of how we would spend the next year fixing up our current rent home good enough to at least be able to welcome guests occasionally.  We decided to spend the year packing and paying off that final blemish.  We decided to choose thankfulness for the home we did have...even if we did not like it.  We decided that we could do anything for ONE MORE YEAR and that we had been through much harder trials than this.  We decided to be thankful that an over-looked blemish had been revealed to us.  We WANTED to pay it off!  We would've hated for it to simply "rotate off''.
     Within minutes of closing out this discussion the phone rang.  On the other end was a man at a local bank saying that he had heard our story and he thought he could make it work.  We had not contacted him.  He contacted us!  At that moment I knew God had heard our prayers.  I also knew that God wanted us to have NO DOUBT that it was HE who had given us the desires of our hearts.  God wanted to give us a gift and wanted us to know without a doubt that it was He who made it happen...not us, not lenders, not a credit report or a salary.  God had given us a home.  What a perfect picture of how He works!  Even when you think you've gotten everything in your life pulled together, even when you think you've cleaned up your past actions and corrected your present behaviors, there is still a lingering "blemish".  We can never get cleaned up and fixed up enough to EARN God's favor.  God didn't give us this home because of anything we have ever done or will ever do.  He gave us this home because He's God.  That is all.  He's God and it's His "delight to surpass all that we would dare to ask".  His DELIGHT!  I love that!  The bank worked with us and gave us a very low interest rate and we were able to get a loan for our home and to pay off the lingering debt.  God is good because He is God. Thankfully, His goodness doesn't ever depend on me! To God be the glory! 

PS...we are enjoying our new home!

Disclaimer:  At the risk of falsely teaching "prosperity gospel", I feel I have to reiterate this.  We did nothing to manipulate God into blessing us with a home we shouldn't have been able to purchase.  He is God and that is why He blessed us.  Had He not cleared the way for this home purchase, He would still be God and He would still be good.  He would have blessed us in a different way, whether it be a lesson in contentment, perserverance through the trial of staying in that house, a sense of joy,  a different home, or some other blessing He had in mind.  I know He would have because that is who He is.  He is a God who loves us and blesses us.  It is His delight to do so!  I just couldn't sit back and watch Him show off during that trial without giving Him the glory by telling our story.