Words Under Control

     One of my favorite heroes of the Bible is Moses.  I was so excited to revisit him in the last few days in my quiet time.  He has a beautiful relationship with God.  He KNOWS God.  He is intimate with God!  It is beautiful to read.  He has such passion for God and such passion for the people he is leading.  Every time they complain or act in an offensive way, he falls on his face praying to God for them. 
     I think about this as I lead my children.  When they are misbehaving, do I pray for them every single time?  When they are offensive, do I ask for guidance from God?  The tougher question is do I just grumble and moan right back?  Do I act offensive in return? 
     Probably one of the hardest parts to read in the story of Moses is in Numbers 20.  Moses has been leading the Israelites for years on a journey to the Promised Land.  Repeatedly the people have seen God miraculously meet their needs.  Repeatedly they complain and panic and verbally attack and blame Moses.  Moses is approached again about the water.  He talks to God and receives instruction.  Here is the passage: 2 Now there was no water for the community, and the people gathered in opposition to Moses and Aaron. 3 They quarreled with Moses and said, “If only we had died when our brothers fell dead before the LORD! 4 Why did you bring the LORD’s community into this wilderness, that we and our livestock should die here? 5 Why did you bring us up out of Egypt to this terrible place? It has no grain or figs, grapevines or pomegranates. And there is no water to drink!” 6 Moses and Aaron went from the assembly to the entrance to the tent of meeting and fell face down, and the glory of the LORD appeared to them. 7 The LORD said to Moses, 8 “Take the staff, and you and your brother Aaron gather the assembly together. Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water. You will bring water out of the rock for the community so they and their livestock can drink.” 9 So Moses took the staff from the LORD’s presence, just as he commanded him. 10 He and Aaron gathered the assembly together in front of the rock and Moses said to them, “Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?” 11 Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff. Water gushed out, and the community and their livestock drank. 12 But the LORD said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them.”
  Moses loses his temper.  He loses control of his words.  (v 10) When talking about bringing water out of the rock, he says, "we"...yet Moses had noting to do with the miracle!  God and God alone made the water come from the rock.  Because of a moment of lost self-control, because of a brief lack of focus, Moses will not be allowed to enter the Promised Land.
     I think about this afternoon when I was growing impatient with my 3 year old.  I was cleaning our very dirty water slide in the harsh Mississippi afternoon heat.  The children were helping me.  Each had a washcloth and they were scrubbing the dirty spots.  My littlest guy walked over and poured out all of the soap I had put in the pitcher.  I was going to have to go back inside the house with my disgusting shoes to refill it.  I was hot, tired, grossed out by the stinky slide, and looking for something to make me explode.  I yelled at him, "What are you doing?  I needed that!  Just go do something else!!!"  He started crying.  I did not handle it well. 
     This may not have been a huge moment in history where I was leading Israelites to their inheritance, but I am always leading five little children through their Christian walk.  I don't know if I missed out on a blessing because I lacked self-control.  I just know that there may come a day when I am under way more stress than a silly pitcher of soap, and it may be a much more important moment.  If I haven't practiced controlling that desire to explode in the little moments, how on earth will I handle the big ones?  And what am I teaching my children?
     For the record, I did apologize.  I told him Mommy should not have yelled.  My children are often told, "This is why Mommy wants you to be like Christ, not like me."  I let them know that I love them like crazy and will work very hard to be a Christ-like mommy, but I WILL fail them.  That is why I need a Savior too.