Food for Thought

     I watch my children struggle and prosper through life.  It amazes me how God uses them to teach me wonderful truths about Him, about me, and about others.  Although I fall very short of being the perfect parent with the perfect love, I do catch glimpses of God's point of view when he is parenting us.  I know I'm not alone in this.  I've heard many parents say things like, "I never got a true grasp on what God thought of me until I became a parent."  or, "When I became a parent, I saw a little more of the big picture." 
     I was in the middle of a struggle with one of my children about a year ago.  He had been grouchy and bitter for days.  I could almost see the dark cloud that had parked itself over his head.  I absolutely could feel it.  I noticed that the more the behavior was pointed out and the more discipline I placed on him, the worse it got.  I finally sat down and quietly reflected on what God would tell him.  One word came to mind, "CHOICE".  I thought about how my son seemed to say something cruel, thinking he would "get it out of his system," only to make another choice that wasn't very Christ-like.  He never felt better, he only got worse.  Then I saw myself.  I saw myself doing the same thing.  Not necessarily at the same time, but definitely throughout my life.  I thought of the times that bitterness engulfed me.  I could see myself marinating in the nasty bitter juices as they seeped into every cell.  I just waited for someone to turn up the heat so I could boil over.  Then I saw the times that I chose to stand up, step out of the bitterness, and shower in the Living fresh water of forgiveness.  What a refreshing difference!  It was a choice.  I can only be the victim of something I allow to have power over me! 
     I walked over to my son with a new gentle outlook.  I knelt down beside him.  I told him this, "Son, you have 2 spirits:  A Holy Spirit that seeks light and wants to do good, and a spirit of flesh that wants to make you a victim of anger, bitterness and resentment.  They are both ravenous!  Hungry to be fed with your actions and choices--even your thoughts.  The one you feed is the one that grows.  The one you starve will become very quiet.  Don't you want the holy one to be the one you feed?  That is only up to you--no one else." 
     I then explained further that once you choose to come out of a pit, it becomes easier to climb the mountain.  It is so freeing!  But, once you choose to sink into the bitterness, it will overcome you.  The further you sink, the harder it will be to climb out. 
     This is the tough part for me.  I have learned enough about myself to recognize when my thoughts are taking over.  When I'm analyzing a situation, having conversations in my head of what I'm going to say to the person who hurt me, or what I wish I had said.  I have learned to recognize when I have stepped into that pool of bitterness.  I have learned to begin the process of coming up for air, and eventually climbing out.  Sometimes, it doesn't take much.  My children often find me saying, "Lord, take that thought captive...I know it's not from you."  Victory!  I climb out with a new outlook on the situation.  Sometimes though, I jump out of that pool, only to find myself dipping my toe back in to test the waters.  All it takes is a thought, "What do you mean you are going to forgive?  She's not even sorry!".  That is when my children really think I've lost my mind.  That prayer goes like this, "Lord, take that thought captive...and that one....and that one too....oh, and there is another one,,," 
     It has been said a million times, and is so very true.  Forgiveness isn't for the person who has done you wrong...it is for you.  It releases you from the trap that is intended to take you captive and stunt your growth.  It pulls you closer to God.  If you cannot get to the point of forgiveness on your own, ask a trusted friend for help.  Someone who will not add fuel to the fire by telling you that you have every right to feel the way you do, yet someone who will encourage you for trying to do things according to God's word.  I'm thankful for the people in my life who will gently say, "I understand why you feel that way, but let's look at what God would want you to do."
     This consideration of which spirit you are feeding also helps when it has nothing to do with forgiveness of wrongs.  Sometimes, I catch myself in a mood.  I don't want to talk, I don't want to listen, I just want to be left alone.  "Alone" is a foreign word to five home schooled children!  Again, I have to choose which spirit I am going to feed.  During these times I realize I need to find time to step away as soon as that is possible.  Maybe I just need to put a movie on for the kids in one room and another on for me in another room.  Sometimes, I need to clean a closet feel like I've done something productive.  All the time, I need to take it to God and meditate on His word and His love.  Feeding my hungry Holy Spirit...no matter what other activity I use to get into that new refreshing state of mind, is always necessary.  Without fail, when I have fed my Holy Spirit with scripture, prayer, and Christ-like choices, it grows and overwhelms my fleshy, worldly spirit.  That is when I find myself singing and dancing with my children again, listening to their stories, laughing at their antics, and enjoying my life.  A cloud cannot remain where the warmth of the light has evaporated it. 


The following is the verse that I refer to when I recognize thoughts that are not pure in my mind:

2 Corinthians 10:5



We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Matthew 5:23-24


23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

Philippians 4:8


8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.